If you need to attend a wake after someone has died, it is correct etiquette to offer a token of sympathy. You can send flowers or memorial cards for funeral services. These gifts are typically offered to the family of the deceased. They are given during the wake or a few days after the interment.
You may offer flowers as most traditionally do. Flower baskets are usually given during the wake. There are certain blooms that are appropriate for the occasion. Carnations, white lilies and roses are common blossoms given to the family of the deceased. They are usually offered with a sympathy card from the sender.
You may also offer something that will create a lasting impression. Give the grieving family a potted plant. You may get a tree or shrub that will grow if planted in the bereaved family's garden. It can also be maintained in the pot so it can be moved around the house too.
You may also give a donation to a charity in lieu of flowers and traditional gifts. The departed or the family left behind may patronize a particular charitable group. You could make a cash donation to the organization in memory of the dead. Your contribution can be dedicated to the deceased.
You might be able to find a custom guestbook provider. Have one made for this particular interment with the name and other information of the dead etched onto the cover of the booklet. This is something that is useful and will definitely be used during the funeral service and wake.
You should look at some memorial or prayer cards. You may get one that contains a printed message or quote or you may write your own note in a blank one. You could send it by mail or attach it to a basket of flowers. You can also bring it to the memorial service personally.
