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Exploring ABC's Of Memorial Etiquette
The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with and it impacts each person in a different way. This is an especially difficult time for the family who are having to cope with their loss as well as all of the necessary arrangements. Understanding some of the most basic guidelines of funeral etiquette allows every mourner the opportunity to pay their respects for the deceased.
For the most part, these guidelines are generally a matter of common sense and good discretion, though there are a few staple principles. In situations where the deceased stipulated certain attire be worn or activities performed, these requests should be honored foremost. If they have religious or cultural traditions they wish to be followed for the service, all mourners should participate regardless of their personal doctrines, as a matter of respect.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
When attending a service, it is important not to be late. It is customary to arrive at least fifteen minutes prior to the start of service so that one may be seated and situated before the family begins to enter. If an unexpected and unavoidable delay should occur, enter as quietly as possible and either stand or sit in near the back so as not to disturb the proceedings.
Condolences should be offered to the family members to express sympathy for their loss. Remarks should be brief and sincere, whether delivered in person or in a written correspondence, avoiding the urge to offer advice on how to cope with grief. Sharing a special memory of the deceased is a sweet gesture though one should take care not to make themselves the center of the story.
Remember that the purpose for such ceremonies are to pay final respects to someone dear to all who attend and to provide an opportunity for them to share treasured memories. General funeral etiquette keeps the proceedings flowing smoothly, avoiding upsetting disruptions and maintains focus on the honored deceased. These guidelines are primarily matters of respect, discretion and common sense and can help anyone who is unsure of how to behave among the bereaved.
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