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Following ABC's Of Memorial Etiquette
The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with and it impacts each person in a different way. This is an especially difficult time for the family who are having to cope with their loss as well as all of the necessary arrangements. Understanding some of the most basic guidelines of funeral etiquette allows every mourner the opportunity to pay their respects for the deceased.
For the most part, one only needs to use their best discretion follow common sense in order to know what is best. There are, however, a few basic tips that everyone should know for general purposes. Keep in mind that when the deceased has left specific instructions as to what they wish mourners to do and wear at their services, or when their religion or culture have traditions in place, those wishes take precedence over all other guidelines.
The topic of what is considered appropriate attire for such an occasion is among the most often discussed. While specific requests from the deceased, or the traditions of a particular cultural group may dictate a bright or alternative style, in most cases, dark colors are worn as a symbol of mourning. Outfits should be conservative and modest so as not to draw attention away from the one being honored.
One should make great effort to not be late to the services. The guidelines dictate that arriving fifteen to twenty minutes early is considered respectful to all involved and provides ample time for sharing condolences before the proceedings begin. Should a delay be unavoidable, either wait outside or enter as silently as possible and take a seat in the rear of the room so as not to disturb others.
One may offer condolences in person, through phone calls or by sending cards and letters. However they are delivered, they should be brief yet sincere messages without any well meaning advice on dealing with loss as that may be better appreciated at a later date. Most appreciate the sharing of memories as long as the deceased remains the center of focus.
These types of proceedings allow family and friends the opportunity to exchange touching memories of a lost love one, to pay respects to the bereaved and to say their final farewells. Emotions are high and sensitive during these times and following funeral etiquette reduces the risk of anyone becoming more upset than necessary. If unsure of what is the proper thing to do, one would do well to resort to common sense and discretion.
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