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Basic Memorial Custom To Follow
Each person grieves the passing of a loved one in their own unique way. This time may be especially stressful on the family members who are having to contain their emotions in order to make important decisions and proper interment arrangements. When all mourners follow the basic funeral etiquette guidelines, it helps to relieve some of the burden on the bereaved and allows everyone to say their personal farewells.
For the most part, one only needs to use their best discretion follow common sense in order to know what is best. There are, however, a few basic tips that everyone should know for general purposes. Keep in mind that when the deceased has left specific instructions as to what they wish mourners to do and wear at their services, or when their religion or culture have traditions in place, those wishes take precedence over all other guidelines.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
One should make great effort to not be late to the services. The guidelines dictate that arriving fifteen to twenty minutes early is considered respectful to all involved and provides ample time for sharing condolences before the proceedings begin. Should a delay be unavoidable, either wait outside or enter as silently as possible and take a seat in the rear of the room so as not to disturb others.
Condolences should be offered to the family members to express sympathy for their loss. Remarks should be brief and sincere, whether delivered in person or in a written correspondence, avoiding the urge to offer advice on how to cope with grief. Sharing a special memory of the deceased is a sweet gesture though one should take care not to make themselves the center of the story.
The main thing to remember is that the purpose of this service is to allow family and friends to say farewell to someone who was important in their lives and to share special memories. Observing proper funeral etiquette creates a smooth flow to the proceedings and decreases the chances of distractions that may upset the bereaved. Using common sense and showing respect for all involved are good guidelines to follow when in a situation where one is unsure of what actions are expected.
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