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Finding ABC's Of Funeral Custom
Losing someone close can affect each person in a very different way. This time is particularly difficult for the family members who are dealing with their own grief while being responsible for making arrangements for interment. Following some of the simplest guidelines to proper funeral etiquette can make the loss much more tolerable for everyone who wishes to pay respects to the lost loved one.
For the most part, these guidelines are generally a matter of common sense and good discretion, though there are a few staple principles. In situations where the deceased stipulated certain attire be worn or activities performed, these requests should be honored foremost. If they have religious or cultural traditions they wish to be followed for the service, all mourners should participate regardless of their personal doctrines, as a matter of respect.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
One should make great effort to not be late to the services. The guidelines dictate that arriving fifteen to twenty minutes early is considered respectful to all involved and provides ample time for sharing condolences before the proceedings begin. Should a delay be unavoidable, either wait outside or enter as silently as possible and take a seat in the rear of the room so as not to disturb others.
Expressing sympathy and offering condolences to the family is more important than one may think. Kind remarks are appreciated though they should remain sincere, brief and free of well meaning advice, whether delivered face to face or in a card. It is acceptable to share a special memory as long as it is told in short form and the focus remains on the deceased.
These types of proceedings allow family and friends the opportunity to exchange touching memories of a lost love one, to pay respects to the bereaved and to say their final farewells. Emotions are high and sensitive during these times and following funeral etiquette reduces the risk of anyone becoming more upset than necessary. If unsure of what is the proper thing to do, one would do well to resort to common sense and discretion.
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