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Observing ABC's Of Memorial Guidelines
The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with and it impacts each person in a different way. This is an especially difficult time for the family who are having to cope with their loss as well as all of the necessary arrangements. Understanding some of the most basic guidelines of funeral etiquette allows every mourner the opportunity to pay their respects for the deceased.
Generally speaking, utilizing a bit of discretion and practical common sense will guide one through most situations. For all others, there are a few basic principles that may be applied. It is important to note that should the deceased have made special requests or belonged to a religion or culture with specific traditions, those should be followed by all attendees as a matter of respect.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
One should make great effort to not be late to the services. The guidelines dictate that arriving fifteen to twenty minutes early is considered respectful to all involved and provides ample time for sharing condolences before the proceedings begin. Should a delay be unavoidable, either wait outside or enter as silently as possible and take a seat in the rear of the room so as not to disturb others.
Expressing sympathy and offering condolences to the family is more important than one may think. Kind remarks are appreciated though they should remain sincere, brief and free of well meaning advice, whether delivered face to face or in a card. It is acceptable to share a special memory as long as it is told in short form and the focus remains on the deceased.
Remember that the purpose for such ceremonies are to pay final respects to someone dear to all who attend and to provide an opportunity for them to share treasured memories. General funeral etiquette keeps the proceedings flowing smoothly, avoiding upsetting disruptions and maintains focus on the honored deceased. These guidelines are primarily matters of respect, discretion and common sense and can help anyone who is unsure of how to behave among the bereaved.
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