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Barrett Cotter Funeral Home


Basics To Learn When Going To A Jewish Funeral Service

Respect for the deceased is exhibited by following the rules of Jewish Funeral Etiquette. The memorial service is a gathering to grieve together. Family members should be allowed to start each conversation. Then friends can share memories.

From time of death, the body of the deceased is to be observed continuously until it is buried. Usually a family member oversees the preparation for the burial ceremony. During the washing it is traditional to keep the body facing up.

Males complete the preparations for males. Females prepare the female decedent. Each individual is washed and then covered in a white shroud. Males are buried with prayer shawls that have a tassel removed. Everyone, rich or poor deserves a decent burial. By using simple garments for all, equal treatment and respect is assured.

A wooden coffin is used because a body is supposed to turn to dust eventually. Holes are drilled in the bottom of the casket for that reason. People show sorrow by tearing at their outer clothing.

The burial must take place within 48 hours of the time of death. A closed casket is customary. A rabbi will pray at the memorial service in the Hebrew language. Family members will offer eulogies.

Conservative clothing in dark colors is the customary clothing for family and friends to wear. No casual clothes are permitted, such as sandals or shorts. That would show a lack of respect on this solemn occasion.

The group at the graveside service is all relatives. After the burial, the family observes a time of mourning called sitting shiva. During that time neighbors and friends visit and bring gifts of food.

Kosher foods and other meals are all acceptable gifts. The family is supposed to be able to avoid cooking during the mourning period. Visitors share memories of the deceased in the form of anecdotes and stories. Jewish Funeral Etiquette encourages showing that the one who passed away will be missed and remembered.


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