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Knowing ABC's Of Memorial Etiquette
Losing someone close can affect each person in a very different way. This time is particularly difficult for the family members who are dealing with their own grief while being responsible for making arrangements for interment. Following some of the simplest guidelines to proper funeral etiquette can make the loss much more tolerable for everyone who wishes to pay respects to the lost loved one.
For the most part, one only needs to use their best discretion follow common sense in order to know what is best. There are, however, a few basic tips that everyone should know for general purposes. Keep in mind that when the deceased has left specific instructions as to what they wish mourners to do and wear at their services, or when their religion or culture have traditions in place, those wishes take precedence over all other guidelines.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
It is important that one not show up late to the funerary services. If possible, try to be there about fifteen minutes early so that one has time to greet fellow mourners and still be seated before the proceedings are ready to commence. When delays are unavoidable, enter quietly and remain at the rear of the room or wait outside to avoid disturbing others.
Condolences should be offered to the family members to express sympathy for their loss. Remarks should be brief and sincere, whether delivered in person or in a written correspondence, avoiding the urge to offer advice on how to cope with grief. Sharing a special memory of the deceased is a sweet gesture though one should take care not to make themselves the center of the story.
The main thing to remember is that the purpose of this service is to allow family and friends to say farewell to someone who was important in their lives and to share special memories. Observing proper funeral etiquette creates a smooth flow to the proceedings and decreases the chances of distractions that may upset the bereaved. Using common sense and showing respect for all involved are good guidelines to follow when in a situation where one is unsure of what actions are expected.
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