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Exploring ABC's Of Memorial Etiquette
Losing someone close can affect each person in a very different way. This time is particularly difficult for the family members who are dealing with their own grief while being responsible for making arrangements for interment. Following some of the simplest guidelines to proper funeral etiquette can make the loss much more tolerable for everyone who wishes to pay respects to the lost loved one.
Generally speaking, utilizing a bit of discretion and practical common sense will guide one through most situations. For all others, there are a few basic principles that may be applied. It is important to note that should the deceased have made special requests or belonged to a religion or culture with specific traditions, those should be followed by all attendees as a matter of respect.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
It is important that one not show up late to the funerary services. If possible, try to be there about fifteen minutes early so that one has time to greet fellow mourners and still be seated before the proceedings are ready to commence. When delays are unavoidable, enter quietly and remain at the rear of the room or wait outside to avoid disturbing others.
Condolences should be offered to the family members to express sympathy for their loss. Remarks should be brief and sincere, whether delivered in person or in a written correspondence, avoiding the urge to offer advice on how to cope with grief. Sharing a special memory of the deceased is a sweet gesture though one should take care not to make themselves the center of the story.
Remember that the purpose for such ceremonies are to pay final respects to someone dear to all who attend and to provide an opportunity for them to share treasured memories. General funeral etiquette keeps the proceedings flowing smoothly, avoiding upsetting disruptions and maintains focus on the honored deceased. These guidelines are primarily matters of respect, discretion and common sense and can help anyone who is unsure of how to behave among the bereaved.
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