Each person grieves the passing of a loved one in their own unique way. This time may be especially stressful on the family members who are having to contain their emotions in order to make important decisions and proper interment arrangements. When all mourners follow the basic funeral etiquette guidelines, it helps to relieve some of the burden on the bereaved and allows everyone to say their personal farewells.
For the most part, these guidelines are generally a matter of common sense and good discretion, though there are a few staple principles. In situations where the deceased stipulated certain attire be worn or activities performed, these requests should be honored foremost. If they have religious or cultural traditions they wish to be followed for the service, all mourners should participate regardless of their personal doctrines, as a matter of respect.
The topic of what is considered appropriate attire for such an occasion is among the most often discussed. While specific requests from the deceased, or the traditions of a particular cultural group may dictate a bright or alternative style, in most cases, dark colors are worn as a symbol of mourning. Outfits should be conservative and modest so as not to draw attention away from the one being honored.
When attending a service, it is important not to be late. It is customary to arrive at least fifteen minutes prior to the start of service so that one may be seated and situated before the family begins to enter. If an unexpected and unavoidable delay should occur, enter as quietly as possible and either stand or sit in near the back so as not to disturb the proceedings.
Expressing sympathy and offering condolences to the family is more important than one may think. Kind remarks are appreciated though they should remain sincere, brief and free of well meaning advice, whether delivered face to face or in a card. It is acceptable to share a special memory as long as it is told in short form and the focus remains on the deceased.
Remember that the purpose for such ceremonies are to pay final respects to someone dear to all who attend and to provide an opportunity for them to share treasured memories. General funeral etiquette keeps the proceedings flowing smoothly, avoiding upsetting disruptions and maintains focus on the honored deceased. These guidelines are primarily matters of respect, discretion and common sense and can help anyone who is unsure of how to behave among the bereaved.
